Still pregnant, but getting closer. Some really cool things have been happening this last week.
First, I have a friend who tried calling me several times Tuesday. I never got around to answer the phone or calling her back, but when she called me back on Wednesday, I picked up. She asked me if things were going okay and told me both she and her husband were up the last two nights praying for me.
Which was exactly what I needed. It was just one of those moments where I was thankful for all the friends I have praying for me, and for a God who wanted me to know that He sees where I am and has people praying for me. She told me that she and her husband were praying specifically regarding the spirit of fear and anxiety.
And as soon as she said that, I remembered my dream from the night before. It didn’t help that I was up the last two nights with contractions (up until 2 a.m. Wednesday morning!) and crazy stressful, hectic dreams. I’ve been stressing, or should I say, I’ve been afraid of this whole childbirth thing. Can I really do it? Am I strong enough? Can I handle the pain? Do I have the endurance, the strength, the will to make it?
So after all the fretting and worrying I had this dream Tuesday night about this spirit in my bedroom. It was made of fire and started throwing fire all over my room as if threatening to burn it down. And then I saw each of my children, and he was threatening to throw the fire at them. I felt like I was half awake, half asleep, but next thing I knew, I was mustering up all the courage I could by saying, “Jesus, Jesus…” because it was the only thing I could think of to say that made me feel better. And then I prayed for His help, and then commanded that spirit of fear out of my house and away from my children too.
But the crazy thing is, I could not remember that dream until my friend called me the next morning. All I could remember was that I’d had another crazy, bad dream. So it really meant a lot to me that one, she and her hubby were praying over me regarding that area of my life and two, I felt like I was starting to deal with it. I can’t live in fear and succeed! So after that phone call, I was able to move on in peace, and gradually, over the next 24 hours, I am feeling okay about this whole labor thing.
Good thing, cuz I am soooooooooooooo close! (I just typed this post with about 4 contractions in between!)
