The Path

Sometimes I just stand in awe of how quickly life can change.  I don’t really know what to say at this point.  After my last post, when I felt that God was reaching out to me, letting me know that He was there and He was going to provide all of my needs, I was genuinely surprised by the outpouring of events that continued to let me know that He is in the middle of everything.  It’s very humbling, to say the least, when you sit there and whine and complain about your circumstances, and God just waits patiently for you to finish, then speaks to your heart…then moves.

And move He did.  I wish I would have written this post earlier while things were still fresh, but  I’ll try to share just a little bit of what God is doing in my life.  The Saturday after my last post, Scott and I planned on joining our small group to attend a day of ministry at the Ray’s house.  If you are living in the Fayetteville area, you are probably aware that this amazing family lost their daughter/sister in a tragic accident on a day that was supposed to be filled with fun and excitement.  This family is a missionary family and love, love, LOVE the Lord with all their hearts.

I wasn’t able to make it to the house until about an hour and a half before everything was supposed to end, but when I got there I was just so humbled and blessed at what I saw.  Our group was working together, beautifying the Ray’s front and back yard.  They trimmed shrubs, cut down limbs, raked leaves, planted trees…you name it.  And even though there wasn’t a whole lot for me to do while I was there, I learned it was a pleasure and a privilege to serve this family who serves the Lord.  They were so down to earth, they were honest about their pain and loss, but the transparency didn’t stop there.  This family loves the Lord with all their heart.

While the grieved the loss of their daughter on earth, they also knew and rejoiced that she is with her Heavenly father.  At the same time, I watched in amazement as Patrick, my 13 year old son, let me know that he wanted to be there, to serve.  And he joyfully worked along with the others.  At the end of the day he said, “Mom, I don’t know why, but doing that just felt good.  It’s not the same when we do it at our house, but working at the Ray’s house felt good.  I want to do this again.”

It really convicted me.  Here I am complaining about my circumstances and this family is going through their own personal hell on earth, grieving the loss of their daughter, and still loving their God in the midst of it all.  It’s not to say that I haven’t loved God in the middle of all of this, but I did allow myself to get distracted and honestly, angry at God, when I should have kept my head in the game!  Then here is my son, learning and desiring to serve others.  He has such a compassionate heart.  That’s when I realized that I am not looking at this life on earth, or the people around me, through the eyes of God.  Like Patrick, I should desire and look for ways to serve others, to share God’s love, to try to comfort and be there for those who are hurting.

Sunday evening our small group met at our house and we discussed our experience from the day before.  Our meeting lasted longer than it has since we started our group and we really just opened up about our lesson topics, concerns, struggles, etc.  At the end of the meeting, one of the women approached me and asked, “Hey, do you want to get together and get lunch some time?”

“Yeah!”  I said.

That’s when she told me that she’s really been wanting to get to know me better.  Me?  Really?  Funny.  Didn’t I just complain about wanting someone to reach out to me?

Then another couple, whom Scott and I have talked about wanting to get together with, approached us that same night and asked, “Hey, would you two be interested in catching lunch together one Sunday?  We’d like to get to know you a little more.”

Then, two days later, another couple in our group sent me an email.  “I know this is short notice, but we have two extra tickets to this banquet on Thursday.  Do you and Scott want to join us?”

Okay, God…now you are just showing off!

So here I am in the middle of all of this learning, and being humbled and corrected, and at the same time, God is just blessing me with the desires of my heart.  It truly is amazing.  Once I was willing to shut up and listen, to let Him redirect me on the path He wants me to take, I was able to see that He loves me and really does want to give me the desires of my heart…the desires that line up with His desires.  I know He wants us to have Christian friends we can go to, talk to, grow with.  I know that He doesn’t want me to feel lonely.  But he also used that loneliness to get my attention.  After all, when there is no one else around you to talk to, it makes it a whole lot easier to realize that there is still someone there, just waiting for you to notice Him.

So God is doing a work in me, and I am so filled with joy right now.  He is such a patient and amazing God.  And as of yesterday, He has thrown another loop on our path that I am a little nervous about.  But that, my friends, is something I will have to share another time!  Until then, I pray this prayer for myself, and for you:

“Make me (us) walk along the path of Your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.”  Psalms 119:35