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Archive for November, 2006

Welcome, Honey!

My husband started a blog. I’m so proud of him, but I am beginning to wonder if I will regret this one day. There really is no telling what he will say!

Can You Believe What He Said?

Oh, and I’m totally posting this so he’ll feel a little more pressure to post more frequently. So if you can help me out and just post a comment on his blog, I’d appreciate it!

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A Trip To The Mall

So I ventured out to the mall yesterday. I was trying to find matching dresses for Kelly and Madison so we can take pictures for Christmas cards. Unfortunately, I’m not willing to spend $50 per dress, especially considering they will wear them, what, twice? No thanks. Ebay, here I come!

At least I got a nice little lunch date with Suzy. We ate in the food court and then she had to run because she forgot Eli’s bottle and his pureed fruit was not good enough. “No way, I’m not eatin’ that stuff…gimme a bottle, Mama!” I seriously need to get Madison to take a bottle so she and I can have a lunch date without the babies. That would be nice!

After she left, the kids had to go potty, so I found the bathrooms by the food court. Wow, they’ve been working in that area. I found “Family Bathrooms.”

Family bathrooms are nice and they are becoming more common, but you know what is so special about these bathrooms? These bathrooms have itty pitty potties for the itty bitty ones. There was also a big potty for the mommy or daddy.

After they finished, I went into the “Nursing Room.” Cool – a Nursing Room! Perfect because Madison was screaming at that point. I made her wait too long to eat. The Nursing Room was a bit creepy because you could hear the toilets flushing constantly and water flowing after each flush. It was so loud that I think Kelly thought it was a monster hiding in the walls. Plus, it was a small room with one glider rocker. I locked the door as she nursed and thought about how they could have made this room a little more mommy-friendly.

It could have a couch or more chairs, music or a tv (to drown out the flushing), maybe a couple toys for the toddlers waiting for baby to finish eating, and a few magazines would be nice. Some moms like to read while nursing. Pictures or plants so the room doesn’t seem so cold and creepy. I mean, I kind of felt like I was waiting for some big man to try to break his way into the room. So maybe a panick button would be nice too. (My imagination really gets to me sometimes!)

After leaving the Nursing Room, I discovered two open changing stations – good idea because Mommy OR Daddy can change the baby without having to go to the bathroom. A sitting area, which would have been closer to what the Nursing Room should have looked like, and the adult bathrooms.

So after exploring all that, I went to Penney’s and bought myself a pair of black pants that are way too snug but I’m not going up another size. Especially after Joshua said, “Woah, Mom! Those pants are huge! There’s no way those will fit you! They are too big!” So when I tried on the skirt and slacks the same size as these pants he went on and on about, and discovered they were so snug, I didn’t even attempt to try on the “Huge pants.” No way. I’ll just take the tight slacks!

So now I know what size I really am. I expected to be in the double digits but now that I know, I am a little bit more motivated to lose weight. I want to fit in my jeans again!

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This morning I got up the nerve to look at “the box” from where the floor guy was standing. Yep. You could still see it, the ring, the box that had the “v” word on it. I have no doubt as observant as he was that he saw the ring. Oh well. I’m moving eventually and will never see him again, right?

It’s nice to hear a few confessions from others though…makes me feel, well, maybe not normal, but certainly not alone! Reminds me of a conversation Scott and I had with some friends a few weeks ago. The wife asked us how we were going to handle the topic of…well, I don’t want to type in the word because I already have enough perverts hitting my site now that my daughter has been named after a famous you-know-what star, but anyway, we’ll call it self-gratification. I looked at Scott, realizing it’s something we’ve never talked about, and asked, “Yeah, Honey, how are we going to handle that topic with our children?” (I don’t get very many opportunities to put my husband on the spot so I admit I was enjoying it a little bit.)

Then we got on the topic of our firsts – that is, our first time in one of those stores. Okay, for Scott and I it was our only time, we were living in WA. We felt like school kids sneaking into a store we weren’t supposed to be in. We kept giggling and whispering. I think we were both a little bit curious and embarassed at the same time. I found myself going by myself shortly after that first trip to a different store (it was a little more tame) and remember buying a game and a couple of other fun things. Who knew they made games for the bedroom? Yeah, that was another embarassing moment when it was time to move. The packers came in and moved our stuff for us. I saw a slight grin on the guy (who had his son helping pack our stuff) when he pulled the “More 4 play” game out of our closet. His son got a kick out of my drawer full of lingerie too. Men!

But that doesn’t beat the time Scott helped his boss in the army move. His boss had just married and when he went into the bedroom to help move the bed, there were ropes tied to all four posts. The wife walked in and you know, I’m sure the husband was like, “Yeah, baby! Yes we did use those ropes!” and Scott, I’m sure, was grinning like Chester the Cat in Alice in Wonderland. The wife, on the other hand, was mortified. heh heh

And since I’m confessing all of this, I just have to get this off my chest. There is a video missing. It went missing about the same time we asked Scott’s mom to keep an eye on our apartment while we went away on vacation. She was supposed to check our mail for us and bring it into the apartment. Yeah, she checked our mail alright, and our bank statements, bills, dresser drawers. I know because she called Scott’s aunt and cousin (and only God knows who else) to tell them about a hot check notice we got from the bank. So we KNEW she’d gone through our stuff because that was filed away. My dresser drawers were also messed up a bit so I knew she went through them too.

So we noticed our home video was missing shortly after that. Scott insists I destroyed it, but I really didn’t. I swear! In fact, I’d love to watch it right now just to see how skinny I was back then. (Totally different reason than why Scott would love to watch it!) I thought I was fat, but I know better than that now! NOW I feel fat and wouldn’t dream of allowing Scott to turn on the video camera! In fact, I’d rather have him turn OFF the lights!

But that video – oh my gosh, that video is probably floating around on the internet or in some adult store, or worse, stashed away in my Mother-in-Law’s closet. There goes my husband’s opportunity to pursue a career in politics!

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Please Don’t Look

Okay, if you are easily embarrased by what married couples do alone in the bedroom…stop reading now. If you know me personally, this may just be too much information for you. You’ve been warned.

Otherwise, here it goes. I just recovered from a potentially very embarassing moment. Okay, I was embarassed, but things didn’t go as bad as I originially thought they were going.

See, we had a guy come in and measure our upstairs bathrooms so we can get estimates on tile flooring. I got up this a.m. and did some quick cleaning while Madison was sleeping (my only chance at getting this done!)

So the guy shows up. A gray haired man who’s youngest just turned 18. In fact, I think he was the same guy who measured our home for carpet installation. I showed him the bathrooms upstairs and noticed he was peaking into the bedrooms along the way. Great…my kids are such slobs and he’s curious as to what’s in the rooms? Please don’t look in there!

Anyway, we were talking away while he was measuring out my bathroom when I noticed the black sheer nightgown hanging on the hook against the shower. It’s very sexy, but alas, way too small at this point in my life. I tried it on one night and couldn’t get the back to button up (not even close) so I hung it up on the hook and hurridly (is that a word?) put my clothes back on before Scott caught me fumbling around in something sexy that my flabby body just can’t handle.

Okay, so I’m sure he(the floor measuring guy) saw that (the nightgown, not me in it). Oh well. So we talk about kids, and about how I have 5 now. I have a house-full. Then I realize, my birth control is sitting on the wire shelf against the wall. Oh no! It’s spermicide and in that box is something I told Scott I’d like to try out – a vibrating ring. Now, we don’t have a stash of toys stored away in our bedroom drawers, but I figured this would be something different to try out, Okay? It even came with a complimentary condom. But we tried it out a couple times and Scott just happened to stuff it in my box of birth control, and it was right there where you can see it because neither one of us closed the lid on the box.

Oh No…don’t look at the box….don’t look at the box….don’t look at the box! He starts to turn in that direction. I peek through the crack at the end of the door where I could get a view of the actual box and whew! To my relief, in my cleaning/organizing rush, I’d put another box in front of that box, hiding the view of the ring. I didn’t even realize what I was doing in my mad rush to get my bathroom presentable, but it was covered.

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I could just imagine what this guy would have thought…especially considering we have 5 kids and aren’t using any form of hormonal birth control. He probably wondered why I was blushing, why I suddenly turned away and walked out of the room for a second, but I suppose with 3 out of 5 kids in the house, I had to deal with one of them, right? Yeah, that’s my excuse!

For a moment I felt like a teen caught in the act by her father – or worse – grandfather!

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I scheduled appointments for Madison to see the pediatric plastic surgeon who specializes in birth marks. She goes in the day after Christmas. Of all the times to have an appointment! But luckily for me, Scott is off for the week and we aren’t traveling anywhere, so he can go with me to her appointment. I don’t know if I really want to hear what he has to say. The thought of her having to have any surgery just seems like too much right now.

Dwight has an appointment with a psychiatrist. He goes in a couple of weeks. I still have to make him an appointment with someone who specializes in diagnosing autism. His neurologist wants him tested for that. But I’m trying to take things one step at a time. I can only handle so much at once!

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This Is A Little Awkward!

Okay, this is weird. I decided to proceed with the name change. I chose the names from The Office since those names were normal names that fit my cast of characters well…but when I went to my first post in need of a change, “You Tell Him!” it was just too weird.

I mean, you try telling the story about how your kid walked in your room after some time alone with your husband, only inserting the names of these characters. Next thing I know, I’m seeing these characters playing out my life and just hearing Ryan ask, “What’s that smell?” It’s just a bit strange to me!

I really thought it would be easier to remember the names I chose for each of my kids this way, but it really is weird.

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Named After A P 0 r n Star???

So I discovered that my daughter shares her name with a por n star. How disappointing. So many people have been googling her name only to find this precious baby girl’s picture and birth stats posted instead. Yes, I’m definitely changing our names on here!

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