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Archive for June, 2007

Tonight Scott and I stopped at The Home Depot to get some prices on some things we need to do around the house. As usual, we ended up picking up a few things. While we were checking out, an employee was standing there in front of Kelly and Madison who were sitting in a double stroller.

“You’re about to fall out!” She exclaimed as she tried to straighten Madison up.
Madison immediately arched her back and threw a fit. THAT is why I didn’t bother to straighten her up in the first place.
As I got her to calm down, the woman began playing peek-a-boo. Madison was untrusting. She looked at the woman like she was crazy (and she loves peak-a-boo!). Just as we were finishing up our transaction she points to Madison and asks me, “What’s wrong with her face right there?”
Are you kidding me? I was so flustered that she would even ask in such a way. “It’s just a birthmark,” I said.
“Oh.” She looked at Addison and said, “When you’re older, you’ll be able to cover that up with makeup!”
Of course as we were walking out, that is when I thought of what I should have said. I should have said, “Nothing is wrong with her!” and left it at that. What is wrong with people? What if Madison were old enough to understand what she was saying?
We decided to stop and eat at the Lucky Dog, a place that has quickly become one of our favorite hang outs. The waitress has become all too familiar with us in the few short weeks we’ve lived here.
So tonight she was playing the same game with Madison and this time, Madison gleefully responded. She loved this woman and interacted with her every time she came around. And she too, noticed the birthmark on Madison’s face.
“Is that a birthmark?” She asked.
“Yes, it is.” I responded. Coincidence that she mentioned the birthmark the same evening?
“My son has one too…right here.” She pointed to her forehead. “I don’t even notice it anymore.”
I could relate. Madison’s birthmark is just a part of who she is to me. When I look at my baby girl, I don’t see a blemish or stain. I don’t look at her face and think, “What is wrong with you right there?” I look at her and I am so consumed with love all I see is her beauty. I don’t even notice her birthmark is there.
And the subject of makeup came up again, only this time it was directed towards Kelly. The waitress told me about her little girl getting into and destroying $200 worth of makeup! We shared our stories of how our little girls love the stuff, but nothing was mentioned about covering up blemishes!
After the two conversations, the Lord spoke to my heart. He reminded me that in this life, we will constantly come against our accuser. He’ll point out our flaws, our blemishes, and he’ll do his best to warp our perspective of who we are. He wants us to feel badly about ourselves!
But our Father looks at us and He doesn’t see a stain or blemish. He sees His creation. He looks upon our face and He is so consumed with His love for us that He simply smiles and says,
“My child, You are a beautiful creation!”
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What Do I Love To Do?

Tonight my husband asked me what is it that I love to do. Since Maddison was acting up, fighting sleep and I just wanted her to go to bed so I could have a break, I didn’t get to answer him. I told him I’d tell him after she fell asleep, but he fell asleep first!

The truth is, I don’t even know anymore! I was going to say I love to scrap & I love art but I haven’t done either in such a long time! I haven’t done anything I love in a very long time. I’m thinking there’s got to be some changes. I’d probably be a little happier if I actually pursued my passions, the things I love.

After getting married, I set aside my passion for art in order to adjust to being an army wife, (how about just a wife???) and a mom to four year old Dwight. He had so many issues and challenges and the schools (colleges) in Washington were just too expensive for me to go back. Since we were barely scraping by, I got a job instead.

Now, after nearly 10 years, I think I’ve put myself in this position where I might have subconsiously made myself too busy to have me time. It’s like I feel guilty at the thought of pulling away from all the kids and everything else on my to do list and do something I want to do! I’ve gotten caught up in caring for the kids, being a wife, keeping up the house, and let’s not forget the different church ministries, that I never had time for ME.

So now I’m in a new place and once I’m completely unpacked and settled in, well, there’s still the caring for the kids and being a wife and all that…but outside of family, no obligations. Maybe I will have a chance to do something I love after all.

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(This post was written with many many distractions coming from some very high-maintenance and needy kids…please excuse any typos or inconsistencies that may exist therein!)

Last night the coolest thunderstorm rolled through. I’m thankful we have storms here in Ohio. That is one thing I missed when Scott and I first got married and I moved from Oklahoma to Washington state. We had record breaking rain, but no storms. Just non-stop drizzle for days on end. Gray skies and cold never-ending rain. I heard thunder one time during the 2 1/2 years I lived there. I resented that state for not giving me a real storm!

But last night this storm rolled through and from a distance, we could see the clouds flying by, the rain drenching the distant grounds. It was beautiful and powerful. The lightening flashed, striking downward, and trying it’s best to leave its imprint in the sky. The thunder seemed to protest with it’s roars and rumbles. The kids were a bit frightened, but I loved every minute of it! I sleep so well when it rains!

And last night I slept deeply, and for the second night in a row, I had a dream about a former boss. I started working several months after moving to Washington (after marrying Scott) for this construction company. I was first hired on through a temp agency and they seemed to like me enough to keep me on board.

Anyway, I was young and naive and didn’t have a clue. My husband came in shortly after I started working there to meet me for lunch and met this man who was my boss. Imagine my surprise when Scott told me that he is gay! “No, he is not!” I argued. There was no way! “Melissa, I promise you, the guy is flaming!” I refused to believe him until my boss “came out of the closet” just a few short weeks later. (I hate it when my husband is right!)

He was a good boss though and a good man. That office was so filled with immoral people and this man seemed to look after me the best he could. He was a bit demanding and liked things done in a particular way, but I learned a lot from him and became better at what I did because of him.

I’ve been wondering why I’m dreaming about him, so I’ve been praying for him. I googled him last night and found out he is doing well in a new job. I think I might email him…

But anyway, my dear husband is so good at reading people. As the years have gone by, I’ve watched my husband speak truth about people, and have seen that he is right, so I’ve learned to trust his judgement. I consider it a gift God has given him, especially to help cover me with my naivety!

So last night when he called our next door neighbor “crazy” I felt myself resisting his prediction of who this woman was. But I have to admit, he is probably right. The fact that she comes over to my house multiple times and doesn’t seem to get that there are times when she comes over and it’s just a very bad time.

When we first moved in and I was trying to take care of a sick baby and unpack she came over multiple times for several days wanting to show me her “flower arrangements.” She came over on several occasions with pictures and asked me to come over to her house to see what she had on display. Although I told her on several occasions that the time wasn’t right, I finally had to tell her I would come over when things calmed down a bit but it just was not a good time! (I wasn’t exactly interested in spending $70 on flower arrangements while I still had everything in boxes anyway!)

But anyway, it was during these visits that she would tell me things, like she’s only friends with two of the women in the neighborhood. She told me that the rest of the people are “cliquish.” She made them out to be snobby self-righteous people who were out to get her.

So imagine how I felt yesterday when I was on the phone with my sister-in-law and she comes ringing my doorbell. I tried ignoring her, but she rang again. I knew she wasn’t going to leave, and since Madison was asleep I decided to answer…too late, she woke up. I answered the door and as she’s done in the past, she looked at the phone as I asked Tina to hold on and then pretended like there was nobody waiting on the other end. (She also ignored the fact that my baby was screaming in the background).

“Did you get one of these?” She asked me, holding a white piece of paper. I looked at it briefly, it was some sort of “notice.” I guess since she and her husband started building a shed, some of the neighbors have been very upset. She claims they have the right to do so since the Home Owners Assoc. went bankrupt and the new Association hasn’t written the new laws for the neighborhood. But she said, “I don’t know if the shed bothers you or not…” (waits for me to respond) and then when I didn’t she continues to tell me that these neighbors are furious and throwing a fit about their shed being built AND our “thing” in the back yard. Our thing? You mean, our mosquito magnet?

My first response was to get defensive and upset. This neighbor stood there and told me that our neighbors have been throwing a fit about that thing in our back yard and are planning on discussing requiring us to remove it during their “secret” meeting. She told me that these people are only handing out the notice of the association meeting to certain neighbors. In other words, the entire neighborhood is conspiring against us!

So needless to say, I was getting worked up about it all, mostly because the idea that they’d only send notice to certain people in the neighborhood of a HOA meeting was just WRONG. But I told her Scott and I would come after he got home so that I could have him get the information from her husband and to look at the notice. I explained that right now was not a good time because I was on the phone and the baby was screaming.

So I talk to Scott on the phone and he says, “I’m not going over there! I don’t want to have anything to do with it! We’re staying out of this mess.” He didn’t want me going over there either.

I was so irritated. So now she’s going to be mad at me for not going over there! But Scott was probably right (again). This woman was looking for an ally, and as my dear husband pointed out, she was using the mosquito magnet as a means to try to get me to team up with her and defend her breaking the by-laws & covenants of the HOA.

“Besides,” Scott said, “I don’t even think we need a mosquito magnet. How many mosquitoes have you noticed out here?” He had a point. He’d already considered removing the mosquito magnet from the back yard. And how are we to know if anyone was really complaining about it in the first place? Where did “crazy lady” get her information from? For all we know, it isn’t even true.

So today I woke up thinking about all of this and I thought, “Great, I have a crazy lady for a neighbor…I don’t want to deal with her, I don’t like her. I just want nice peaceful neighbors who mind their own business!” I swear that little quiet voice spoke up within me as soon as I had that thought, “And by the time your stay here is over, you will love your neighbor.”

I have yet to figure out if that is a promise or a threat!

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Zoo Pics

I couldn’t forget to post pics from our Saturday trip to the zoo!





These are just some of the pics of the zoo animals. I’ll post more tomorrow. 🙂

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I said today.

Like this:

“Dwight, you are grounded for pouring milk in your brother’s eye.”

Okay, so I might have over-reacted a little bit and I ungrounded him after I cooled off, but seriously, I never thought I’d have to tell my 14 year old that he was in trouble for pouring milk on (make that IN) his 5 year old brother’s eye.

At least it was just milk, and I rinsed Joshua’s eye out with my contact solution, (after I got him to stop screaming). I think he was screaming because he was just way mad at his brother, not so much because it hurt. But seriously, what a way to start off the morning!

These are the kinds of things that drive moms to alcoholism…I just know it!

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That Explains It

Yesterday we woke up around 9 a.m. and started getting ready for church. The second service started at 11:15 and since we stayed up late with the kids watching “Facing the Giants” we knew better than to try to make it to the first service. So we get out the door right on time and wouldn’t you know it? We pulled into the parking lot and the times on the sign say the 2nd service started at 10:40!

“What? No!!!” Scott exclaimed. “I read it! It said 11:15 yesterday!”

“It’s a conspiracy!” I explained. “They came out and changed the times after we drove by yesterday.” (We drove by to make sure we knew where the church was).

“I think you’re right! Do you want to go in anyway?”

“No way! Not this late!”

Then Scott realized what REALLY happened…we were at the wrong church. We hadn’t driven far enough down the road. Oops. heh heh

(That explains it.)

So we get to the “right” church and it was okay. It wasn’t exactly what we’d hoped for, but it wasn’t too bad. There was nothing wrong with the church, we just aren’t sure we are a right fit. But something very interesting happened while we were there.

During the service, the pastor told everyone to get up from their seats and shake someone’s hand. So Scott and I went down our row and I ended up shaking the hand of a woman who looked very familiar to me. Could it be? No way, she looks too young.

“Hi. I’m Christine.” She said warmly. My gosh she has the same smile, the same salt & pepper curly hair, only it’s short. If she just looked a little bit older I swear it would be her! The woman I was thinking of was a mom about my mom’s age (maybe a little younger) who attended the church I grew up in. But seriously, what are the odds that not only would we end up in the same state, but also in the same city AND at the same church nearly a thousand miles away from my home town?

Well…sometimes odds don’t matter. It was her. After church I approached her and said, “I know this is going to sound strange, but did you every live in Oklahoma?”

“Yes.”

and on I went with the town name and church name. I got a yes to both those questions. It took her a while to remember who I was…who my mom was, but I think she vaguely remembered.

Not that she’s the type of person I’d see myself hanging out with. The fact that we both went to the same church years ago is about the only thing we have in common, but my curiosity was satisfied.

She looked like Christine because she was Christine! (That explains it!)

Okay, guys, you might want to stop reading here…I’m about to talk about women issues, mkay?

Ladies, this may be TMI for you too! (You’ve been warned!)

So last week I was feeling so exhausted. To top that off, I kept waking up the other night just worrying about random happenings, and random non-happenings, and I had to make myself stop thinking and worrying so I could go back to sleep. It took me praying twice, giving it all to God before I could finally rest. My gosh, what is wrong with me?

Saturday morning I woke up feeling off. I was tired because Madison kept me up half the night (her first tooth is just about to break through…we can see that little white spot surfacing), so I thought maybe that was it. But throughout the day I kept getting chills and just felt weak. I figured I was getting sick.

But I just HAD to get out of the house since I’d been couped up all week long unpacking and I was more emotional than sick, so we decided to take the kids to the Cincinnati Zoo. It was GREAT. The weather was perfect and the kids were well behaved. We had a great time. (I’ll post pics tomorrow).

But towards the end of our trip, I started feeling worse. I was getting irritable and had to make a mental note that there wasn’t anything wrong, I was just letting myself get that way. The thought flashed through my mind…but nah…I just thought that because of what Scott said the day before.

But sure enough…what he said came to pass. I received my first visit from Aunt Flo since having Madison. YUCK! I totally blame my husband for this because he just knew it was bound to happen and he even said, “Man, when you do have it, it’s going to be Baaaaaaaad!” (Because it’s been so long). So sure enough, it happened, and it is the worst period in the history of all my periods. I won’t even describe to you the details but I will say I’m thinking about requesting a blood transfusion!

I really was enjoying my period-free months! But after I started, it all made sense. My raging hormones, sleepless nights, just feeling off and moody and tired and all that yucky stuff…it was because of that. (That explains it!)

I thought it was a bit sweet of Scott to admit that he was mildly disappointed that I started. We had just the smallest suspicion that maybe I was accidentally pregnant even though I don’t know how it would have been possible. But I knew my hormones weren’t “normal” and this lady approached me at my sister’s wedding and when she started praying for me she mentioned “another baby” and started praying for this baby that was going to be born. So that got me wondering. She said she just felt that there is going to be another baby. It doesn’t mean I will have that baby, because I’m not even going to try to interpret something like that on my own terms but still…it got me to thinking. And I never thought I’d hear my husband say he was a little disappointed, because some days it just seems crazy to think about trying for another baby! I’m just afraid we’ll regret it if we don’t.

So yeah, life has been fun, and interesting, and gross. All that. But at least it’s staying interesting. Right?

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I’m So Tired

I’m beginning to remember that I actually don’t like to move! My body is aching and I just feel sleepy. I just want to get the unpacking done so I can move on with my life.

But tomorrow we are taking a day off. We’ve been going nonstop for two weeks. I know that we aren’t going to be very productive if we are exhausted! So hooray for Saturday – a free day!

I’m really looking forward to meeting some people and finding a babysitter. I SO need a break from the kids. Doesn’t that sound bad? But I do. I love ’em dearly, but I need some time without their demands for attention. I’ve been sucked dry!

And then there’s the dogs. They both seem to think they need to mark their territory on this brand new carpet. I don’t know what to do about it. I’d throw them outside during the day but we don’t even have a fence up yet!

Oh the joys of moving.

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