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Archive for February, 2008

When Life Hands You Poop…

Tuesday night we were gathering around the dinner table when Dwight began to tease Patrick about an old habit of his.  Scott is great at shutting the kids down when they try to humiliate another sibling like this, so he picked a similar habit Dwight had when he was younger to remind him about. 

“Dwight, do you really think you should be talking about Patrick when you used to pick dog poo up with your bare hands?”

“What?!?” 

“What, you don’t remember that?”  Scott asked.

“No!”  Dwight blushed.

But he did do it.  He was probably about 7 or 8, and he decided that instead of using the little shovel to scoop the poop, he would just use his hands.  It took us getting onto him several times before he broke the habit.  He just didn’t understand what was so disgusting about it.

So last night Scott and I headed upstairs to our room, when he noticed something on the floor.  We didn’t turn the light on since we were heading to the bathroom connected to our room and down the hall, so needless to say, when he discovered what he’d scooped, he was disgusted. 

“Oh NOOOOOOO!  I just picked up poop!” 

Imagine how hard it was for me to control myself as he carried on and on about the poo that he was now holding in his bare hand.  I watched as he continued, disgusted, on his way down the hall to the bathroom so he could flush the terd in the toilet.  Apparently, Dwight forgot to let the dogs out before going to bed, and Fox, I’m sure, decided to remind us that we need to stay on him about this or else! 

And you know, hard as I tried, I couldn’t resist.  I followed him to the toilet and as he watched the swirling water wisk the poo away, I giggled and said, “Well…now we know where Dwight gets it from!”

Oh, and I was “in the mood” before his hands were all over that thing…but the thought of him touching me after holding poo just didn’t do it for me…go figure.

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Sick Again

I’ve somehow managed to get the lovely stomach bug Scott had.  My poor kids were so neglected today.  They had Pringles Stix and Pop Tarts for breakfast and then no more food until after school and Dad’s early return from work.  Maybe because even the thought of food made me want to hurl. 

This is miserable.  Any kind of slight movement (even typing) causes my stomach to start rumbling and my head to hurt. 

So……………. 

 I’ll be back when I’m functioning normally again. 

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I love you, so why do you have to make life so difficult?  WHY?

I really just want to pull my hair out dealing with him lately.  We’ve really been dealing with some stuff.  Nothing major, but at the same time, just frustrating. 

Like yesterday morning, when I was woken up at 5:30 a.m. by a phone call.  Another 2-hour delay thanks to the snow.  2 phone calls later, and I’d given up on sleep.  Apparently they feel the need to call twice to inform me about school delays, and then once more to cancel school altogether. 

So there you have it.  No school.  Scott flying out of town.  Meaning I get left home alone with the kids all day.  Fine.  I can handle that, right?  I stayed up with Scott for a bit, and then decided to try to get a bit more sleep before Madison woke up.  I was just about to fall back asleep when…

“MELISSA!”

I jumped out of bed as my panicking husband stormed in the house.  I guess he asked Dwight to “start the van” for him this morning.  So Dwight “started the heater.”   In other words, he turned the car on just enough to completely drain the battery.  And now Scott is asking me if I’m going to need to go anywhere before he gets home tomorrow night? 

Ummmmm…let me think.  Kelly’s hand in the treadmill and Joshua’s week-long fever.  Yeah, I might need a means of transportation.  Let’s not tempt fate, right?  At least leave me with the car seats!

Dwight, Dwight, Dwight.  He thought that Scott simply wanted the van warmed up, so he saved some energy by not turning the car on all the way.  He turned the key for some power and then turned the heater on full blast.  He didn’t know any better.  But that didn’t ease the frustration as Scott scurried outside and unbuckled all the car seats in the Expedition before leaving me carless. 

At least he made his flight.  They even delayed it an hour so he was able to grab some breakfast.  Ahhhhhh…breath. 

I love the boy, but sometimes I just wish he would think before he spoke.  Like the other day when he told me he needs stuff for a “scrapbook project” for his Spanish class.  He waited until I left the house, and then called my cell while I was picking up dogs from the groomer’s.  I hate getting messages from Dwight.  They are usually long and at the end, you are left wondering just what exactly he needed.  Why couldn’t he have waited until I got home to tell me about this? 

I called him back and told him I couldn’t understand a word he said, so he explained again that he needed supplies for his project.  Then I asked the dreaded question.  “When is it due?” 

“Tomorrow.”

“WHAT?!?  DWIGHT!  NO!”  This has been happening way too much.  So naturally I’m freaking out and then I stopped myself.  “You know what?  This is not my emergency.  You need to plan better than this.  I’m NOT going to stop by the store to get you paper right now.”  (I had a sick hubby and son I needed to get home to!)

Apparently, he didn’t even realize what he said.  I guess he just got used to saying “tomorrow” because that is usually how he handles projects when he needs something from me!  The project isn’t due until next Monday.  Ahhhhhhhh.  Breath.

But tonight, I lost it with poor Dwight.  He just said something really stupid…which I might have been able to handle had his comment not been cold and ignorant on his part.  Patrick came downstairs after his shower wearing mismatched pajamas.  Do I care?  No.  He’s going to bed in a little bit.  So what, right? 

Well, Dwight decided he cared.  He took one look at him and said, “You look ridiculous.” 

So Patrick responded the way any normal younger brother would respond…”YOU look ridiculous!”  (Good comeback, right?)  Okay, it’s a little irritating that Dwight is picking on his little brother over something really dumb, but hey, big brothers (and sisters) do that, right?

But when he said, “Oh yeah?  Your mother cried when you were born!”  Now that was not cool.  He wasn’t talking about tears of joy.  He was talking about tears of shame, mourning.  Only he said it to his adopted brother.  He said it to the boy whose mom was too hooked on drugs to take care of him or his other siblings, resulting in his younger brother dying. 

So I asked Patrick to excuse us and I asked Dwight why he would say such an insensitive thing!  He stood there for a minute, as if he were really thinking hard and said, “I guess because I’m just stupid.” 

Wow.  You can bet that excuse didn’t fly with me…Mr. “I’m a genius – a childhood prodigy” is suddenly claiming to be stupid.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. 

The whole stupid bit didn’t fly with me.  I called Dwight out on it all.  I’m not going to let him make excuses when he says such hurtful words.  He needs to think about how his words impact those around him, and trust me, his mouth very rarely stays shut, so there’s a lot of stuff coming out of it. 

I really do love the boy, and I do think that if he’d sat there and thought about how his words may have impacted Patrick, he wouldn’t have said it, but he was trying to get one over on him.  So we talked about how our words effect others, how they can impact a person, stay with them the rest of their life.  Are those the words he wants Patrick to remember? 

“But Mom, I was just kidding!”  He said.  I told him that!

“Dwight.  If I’d said that to you, and then told you I was just kidding, would it have hurt any less? 

“No.”

“Don’t divide our family with your words.  Control your tongue.”

Then I spent the next 10 minutes talking to Dwight about his self-esteem.  Because really, his is pretty low right now.  He obsesses over stuff like IQ tests and intelligence.  He’s carried this burden on his shoulder because he scored just under “Genius” on an IQ test, and he’s let that define who he is.  He’s also been upset about the fact that a Speech Therapist is working with him at school.  He doesn’t feel like he needs her help.  But everyone else agrees this is best for him.  He needs to work on communicating without rambling on.  He needs to figure out how to focus and to get to the point quickly.  Right now, he is unable to do that.  It was almost funny, in a twisted sort of way when Dwight told us last night that he doesn’t ramble…and he rambled on and on about how he doesn’t ramble.  I hate to admit it, but I laughed.  It was just kind of funny.

I’m still upset about what he said to his brother.  It just breaks my heart.  In many ways, Patrick and I are alike, so I can just feel how that would have hurt him to hear that his mother mourned when he was born.  It’s not something I would say to anyone.  Of course, I’m a bit older than Dwight, so I can look at it all from a different perspective…I just struggle with the fact that he doesn’t really stop and consider his words before he speaks them.  He really struggles with that, and honestly, I don’t know how to get him to think before he speaks. 

It scares me sometimes, to think that he has just over 3 more years before graduating.  What kind of man is he going to be in the end?  Will he be independent enough to function in the real world without Mom and Dad there?  Will he do okay in college?  He often resists the help we try to give him to help him succeed and overcome all of his challenges.  It’s like his pride gets in the way of admitting he might need a little help.  He sees it as a weakness. 

And that is one other point I’m trying to get through to him.  We all have challenges we have to overcome…and when we do, we learn just how strong we really are…and we learn how much we need to rely on God to overcome our challenges. 

So I guess you could say I’m having to rely on God quite a bit to deal with my challenge – Dwight.  Like last night, when I stressed three times to him the importance of calling me before leaving for track because if I couldn’t get the car started, he’d end up stuck at the highschool.  I even wrote him a note and left it on the table, which he took with him to school.  “Dwight.  Do NOT forget to call me about track.” 

2:45 I get a phone call from Dwight.  He was on the bus, heading for the highschool.  “Ummmmmm…Mom.  Were you able to come pick me up?” 

“What?  What are you talking about Dwight?  Where am I supposed to be picking you up from?”  I thought he needed me to be somewhere right then and there!

“At track.  I forgot to call you.” 

“Are you kidding me?  Where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way there.” 

“Dwight.  You’re lucky I was able to get the car started.  (A neighbor came over late this a.m. and jumped the car for me).  I’ll pick you up (at 5:00), but we ARE going to talk.  Bye.” 

About 3:30 he’s knocking at the front door.  He told his coach that he needed a ride home because he was too afraid to ask me to come pick him up early because I was mad at him.  I watched as his coach pulled out of the driveway thinking about how I must look like a total ass to his coach. 

And I admit I’m not the most patient Mom, but seriously, I didn’t mind picking him up (especially early!).  It was the fact that 2 nights ago I got onto him for the 100th time for being unorganized, not using his checklists, and not writing important “To Do’s” in his agenda.  Calling mom should have been a “To Do” during Study Hall.  But he didn’t bother to write it down, because really, he has no desire to change.  I simply said we were going to talk when I picked him up, because I’ve had it with his lack of organization and planning.  I’ve done literally everything I can to help him except to treat him like an idiot and say, “Sit down right now.  Pull out your agenda.  Write down these exact words…”

Yeah.  Challenges.  Dwight is mine right now.  And I really REALLY need God to help me through this one before I go completely balled!

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Sick, Sick, Sick!

Joshua took a day off school today.  He’s had a fever (on and off) since last Wednesday.  He did so good all day long, but when I woke up from my nap this afternoon, it popped pack up.  Grrrrrrrr!  I was up til 2 a.m. taking care of him last night.  This is getting exhausting! 

Scott came down with a stomach virus too.  So needless to say, our 4 day weekend was spent pretty much taking care of everyone (burn wounds, stomach virus, colds, etc.)  We didn’t get to take the kids out to do anything fun as originally planned! 

I will say that our time confined to the house has proven to be somewhat educational (at least about what our kids are learning).  Scott was watching tv with Joshua the other night when something weird came on (a commercial or something).  Joshua looked at Scott and asked.  “What the hell was that?”  How do you correct a kid without laughing over something like that?  I mean, it was bad that he thought he could say that (although I question whether or not he really thought it was okay)…but he’s usually the one scolding Kelly for saying something she shouldn’t!  Scott managed to handle it well, but thank God I wasn’t in the room!

 So anyway, I haven’t been on much.  The house is full of sick people.  We’re just trying to survive. 

Oh, and Dwight posted again on his blog (See “My Son” on my blogroll).  Let me just say, there are about 100 reasons why I’m glad he isn’t president, even if he thinks he’d be the best person to run the country.  But he really thinks he’s ready for the job (right now)!  I tried to convince him that maybe he might not quite be there yet, but he listed all his qualifications: Extensive knowledge in military history and government, a vision for this country, and the drive to get the job done regardless of anyone else’s protests!   Sometimes there is no arguing with a teenager! 

P.S.  For more reads on Dwight’s political thoughts, check out these posts:

School Assignments

Details, Details!

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Always lock the door to the basement when working out. 

Why?

Maybe because knucklehead Kelly will sneak downstairs after you tell her no, she can not run on the treadmill, and stick her hand under the belt as it is going full speed with Dad running above.  Yesterday was just crazy.  As if we needed more stress to add to our day.  And we thought the day was winding down!  Ha!  I was finishing up dinner, Scott was getting a quick run in to help relieve some stress, Madison was running around butt naked (diaper rash) with my lip gloss painted all over her body.  All over her body includes the rashy rear-end area, so needless to say, lipgloss is no longer going on anyone’s lips! Okay, throw lipgloss away, stick her in the sink with some water and get her washed up before my Italian Spinach Pie comes out of the oven.  That’s easy!  I have 20 minutes to do this! 

It was all falling into place.  We were going to sit down as a family and decompress, enjoy each other’s company and a healthy meal.  Maybe even play a game before bed time.  Until the screaming.  Patrick was the first to notice.  It was Kelly, but I couldn’t tell where she was.  I imagined her stuck upstairs between her bed and the wall or something silly like that.  I told Dwight to stay with Madison while I ran upstairs…only by the time I was about to go, Scott came running up the basement stairs with Kelly, holding out her right hand. 

I took one look at her hand and said, “She needs to get to the emergency room, NOW.” 

“Do you think?”  Scott asked.  It was obviously a burn.  But Yes.  I definitely thought because I wasn’t even going to begin to try to treat this one on my own.  I am not a doctor! 

Scott ran out to the car and got it started, scraped about 3 inches of snow off all the windows as it rained down on him, while I got Kelly’s socks and shoes and coat on (all the while telling her what a dumb move she made!).  I was so angry and scared and inwardly freaking out all at the same time!

I tell Dwight to watch Madison who is still sitting in the sink.  We get Kelly outside and decide Pacey’s booster was the best seat to get her in since it would be easy to buckle her in.  Only his booster was in the house.  I ran inside to get it and found that the kids moved it from where I last put it.  “Boys!  WHERE IS THE BOOSTER SEAT?  Patrick, Joshua, GET IT NOW!” 

Next thing I see?  Dwight running across the room.  I come around the corner and Madison was standing up in the sink.  I ran over to the sink to grab her before she fell out. 

Do you want to know what came out of my mouth after that?  No.  You don’t.  Use your imagination.  My 14 year old son left the baby in the sink to go fetch the booster seat that Patrick and Joshua were already getting…like it was a race to see who could get it first or something.  Are you kidding me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Needless to say, I freaked out even more.  I did not need both of my little girls to end up in the emergency room that night!

After taking naked and wet Madison out of the sink, I reassigned responsibilities for her care to Patrick (the more reliable babysitter) while I ran the booster out to Scott.  I ended up buckling Kelly in as she cried about how it “burned.”  I felt so helpless.  I wanted to go with her, but she needed to get there right away and Scott was able to get her there faster than me.

So as I was heading towards the front door, Scott told me to take a few breaths before going back in.  I did…and then called Dwight.  He attempted to argue with me, saying I never ordered him to actually stay with Madison. 

Do you want to know what came out of my mouth when he said that?  I swear, sometimes he just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.  I told him 3 times to stay with her!  The second time was when he tried to walk away from her while I was still getting Kelly ready!  No.  You do not want to know what came out of my mouth when he insisted that I never told him to stay with Madison.  It was not pretty.  I’ve learned that nothing can get me madder than a smart-ass teenager!  I had to send him out of my sight just so I could calm down.

I waited for about an hour and a half before Scott called.  He was able to get her to the Urgent Care clinic about 10 minutes from our house.  They treated her, prescribed her antibiotics and a cream to apply to her wound daily.

This morning I had to treat her hand for the first time.  I don’t do well with this kind of stuff.  But I’m the mom and you know, I really don’t have the choice.  So I unwrapped her hand and YUCK.  Well…you can see for yourself if you want.  I took pictures.  If you are squeamish in any way, don’t bother looking!

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I spared you the picture before I washed it.  Kelly actually freaked out a little when we first unwrapped it!

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Applying the cream to it with the end of a spoon. 

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Attempting to wrap it up.

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Not the best job, but it will do!

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We have a four day weekend coming up.  The kids don’t have school on Friday or Monday and I would just love to get away.  Scott has a guys’ poker night Friday, but other than that, we really don’t have anything planned out.  So this is the time I wish we were closer to the beach.  It would be so nice to just get away for a few days and relax – somewhere warm.  Well, it doesn’t even have to be warm, just not snowy and icy and freezing cold!  But I do miss those escapes to the sandy beaches in SC. 

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My son posted some poems on his blog.  Interesting.  I’ve only read a couple of them before.  Check it out if you want!  😉

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