Archive for October, 2008

Because he totally gives me plenty to write about!  You know that detention he earned?  He still has not served it!  Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent to his counselor:

I did want to make you aware that Dwight was supposed to serve detention today in his US History class.  His teacher gave him the option of serving yesterday or today.  Dwight didn’t even tell me about his detention until yesterday (he did so by leaving a note on the table for me), so I texted him telling him to come straight home after school (I figured he could serve detention today), and wanted to talk to him to find out what was going on before he served.

Well, he didn’t read the text message until this morning, so he assumed I wanted him to come straight home today.  He left his detention slip at home, so I drove to the school with three little ones and left it with the lady at the front desk who assured me she’d get it to him.  He never got it so he still ended up coming home. 

I was wondering why I got a text from him yesterday morning saying, “Thank you.”  He thought that I got him out of serving his detention!  HA!  So yeah, I was fuming yesterday when I saw him walking down the street.  Especially because I’d just about missed him.  The only reason why I didn’t miss him was because after loading up the girls, I had to run back into the house (which, thank God, I forgot to lock up), to get my keys! 

When I ran back out, he was walking down the street.  I threw my arms in the air, as if to say, “What the heck?”  His friends walking with them hushed right up and briskly walked away.  heh heh

So I was mad at Dwight, I was even more mad at that stupid lady who wouldn’t even stop to look at me when I told her that Dwight would be stressed all day if he didn’t get his detention slip.  (Lucky for her he was la-de-da-ing all day long thinking I got him out of detention because I almost drove right back to the school to give her a piece of my mind!  I mean, I drug an infant, a two-year-old, and my five-year-old out in the freakin’ cold to get that damn piece of paper to him!) 

Anyway, today, Dwight was supposed to get out of school at 10:45, so I told him I’d be at the school at 11:15 to pick him up.  I went to the grocery store right by the school and picked up a few things, and made it there right at 11:15.  I pulled up to the front and…no Dwight.  I called his cell. 

“Where are you?”

“I’m waiting on the side of the buiding…where the parents are supposed to pick up the students.”  He emphasized.

“Well, I’m in the front of the school, where all the parents are picking up the students!  WHERE I ALWAYS PICK YOU UP!”

I told him to start walking to the front.  He gets in the car, I start driving away, explaining to him that the fact that he would assume that I would drive to the side of the building, this time, was just silly because I’ve never picked him up from the side, nor had we discussed it. 

“Give me one good reason why I would have even thought to pick you up over there, Dwight.”

He said, “To avoid all the traffic.” 

As much as I hated to admit it, that was actually a good one.  I could see how he would think that was a good logical reason!

So I’m driving home, and get about half-way there when he says, “Mom, do you think you could bring me in to school on Monday at 9 so I can finish my Powerpoint exam?” 

That’s when I wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel.  Because Dwight could have stayed after school to finish that exam, and then took the bus home at 2:15!  ARGH!  I turned around and dropped him off, chewing him out the entire time. I know, I know.  I’m still not getting it, am I? 

So, after dropping him off, I felt guilty.  Then I made a decision.  Next time, I am going to just keep my mouth shut.  No matter how badly I want to yell at him for screwing things up, I am not going to say a word.  I’m just going to punch him in the nose. 

Yeah, I think that will make me feel much better.

Just kidding (about the punching).  Insted of freaking out, I will think about something else.  I will go to my happy place.  I will pray for his future wife.  I will turn up the radio and freaking sing at the top of my lungs!  But I will not say a word to Dwight!

Anyway, he left me another note this morning.  It read:

Hi Mom,

Is it okay if later in the year, I could buy a Ti-35 graphing calculator because it’s required for CPA Algebra II next year and I’ll need to figure out how to use it.

Next year.  As in – his junior year.

What made it even better?  Joshua saw the note and wrote, “Yes, No, Maybe” all over the rest of the post-it note.  I decided to leave it just like that.  I loved it.  Dwight wrote me another note that made me laugh, and   Joshua gave me the perfect answer!


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Free Chocolate!

Just click HERE

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You’d think by now I’d be used to it.  I mean, it happens about every other week.  (Read my post: The Death of Me and you’ll understand what I’m talking about!)  But I still get worked up when Dwight pulls his stunts.  Like yesterday.

I got a real thrill out of Dwight’s little explanation as to why he didn’t call me until after school got out to let me know I needed to pick him up.  Forget the brief moment of panic I felt when I woke up from my most needed and awesome nap and realized he never made it home from school!  He forgot to tell me the night before the cookie dough orders for his club came in and that he’d have to stay after school to pick them up.  I get that, he forgets everything, but when I asked him why he didn’t call me from school, during his lunch break to give me a heads up, he told me that I was going to have to pick him up anyway, so why bother giving me the advance notice?  Nice, huh? 

Yeah, teenagers are awesome!  Imagine how ticked I was as I turned back onto our street after rushing out of the house with two little ones to get him and finding Kelly and Joshua walking home.  The bus had already dropped them off and I barely made it home in time for them to get into the house.  He doesn’t get it, I know.  All he sees is a ticked off mama, not someone who was concerned and then stressed out about getting one kid picked up in time to be home for the rest of the kids. 

So after explaining to Dwight why I was upset with him about not bothering to call sooner, I woke up this morning to this letter:

Dear Mom,

You maybe (maybe is not a typo, he spelled it out that wayshocked to see that I have received a detention slip.  I was given the detention slip after being late for the third time.  The reason why was that I was trying to rush to my locker to get my U.S. History flashcards in order to review for my test (which took place in the class).  But the teacher said that it is only 10 minutes away from the end of class.  Sorry, I should have explained why it was important to go to my locker at the time.  Again, I apologize for you having to take up my slack.  When I recieved (spelled that way) the slip, I felt so ashamed that I felt like I was going to cry.  These reasons for being late are not excuses, they are explanations (because I need my 15 year old to point out the difference between excuses and explanations!)  It is optional to come to school early to serve detention.

Sincerely and “Responsibly,”  (Yes, he put that one in quotations himself!)

Dwight Last Name (Because I wouldn’t be sure which Dwight wrote me the letter if he didn’t include his last name!)

He totally doesn’t get it – planning ahead, being organized, making sure I’m available to pick him up, giving me advance notice – and I have to constantly remind myself that the PDD is partially to blame…and then there is the fact that he didn’t want to tell me in person because he doesn’t want to be in trouble.

It’s frustrating, but the beauty of it all is that God somehow planted this quirky thing in Dwight to be able to make me laugh, even when I’m frustrated with the kid.  I mean seriously, “Responsibly,” written in a letter about getting detention?  That is GREAT!

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Latest Happenings

I felt so bad for Kelly Saturday afternoon.  She got stung by a yellow jacket 4 times!  The truly horrible part of it all was she brought the thing in the house with her after the first sting (must have been on her shirt or something), and when she kept crying that her finger hurt, then her wrist, then her other hand, and finally her back…well, I thought she was just trying to get some extra attention.  When I finally saw the big whelp on her back, I looked on the loveseat where she was sitting and there it was, flailing about right where she was sitting. 

One thing we did learn though – toothpaste really does help ease the pain from the stings!  She stopped crying 5 minutes after we applied it to all her stings!

Anyway, I started the Nutrisystem Diet this week.  I haven’t been losing any of my baby weight and I knew I had to do something.  They don’t exactly encourage (or allow) breastfeeding moms to do their program, however, as long as you don’t check the box stating you are breastfeeding or pregnant…

I just need to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes (you know, the ones I wore before having Madison!)  I’ve added on an extra snack and carb into the program to compensate for the extra calories I need, and so far, so good!

Scott is out of town tonight.  He flies back in tomorrow and I’m hoping that starting next week things will have calmed down in the work place.  Things have really sucked here in Ohio.  I’m trying to keep a good attitude, knowing that God would surely appreciate it if I chose to live by the same attitude I try to teach my kids to live by, but MAN!  When your hubby is ready to go to bed at 8:30 on a Sunday night (right after you’ve worked so hard to get all the kids to bed)…it’s just hard not to feel cheated.  He keeps promising me things will get better.  I sure hope he’s right!

Anyway, I better get to bed.  I’m actually tired, and I promised Madison a big day (only way I could get her to go to bed).  She had a stomach bug all last week (threw up both mornings I tried to get out to get groceries) and is finally feeling better.  So tomorrow I’ll be out running errands and hopefully still find time to work out.  I never sleep well the first 48 hours Scott is out of town, so hopefully I won’t be too tired to work out tomorrow!

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Joshua came home from school Wednesday and said, “Mom?  I have lots of friends who bring their lunch to school, and their moms write them notes because they really miss them!”  He looked like he was about to tear up.  Enter mommy guilt!

“Joshua, do you want me to make your lunch for tomorrow?”  I asked. 

“Yes!”  He replied.

So I made his lunch that night and snuck in a little note letting him know how much I and the other girls miss him when he’s at school all day long.

He came home yesterday so touched.  “Mom, I got your note.”  He said. His eyes welled up with tears.  “Thanks!”

Later on though, he told me, “Mom, when you write me my 256th note, my friend will have 257, because his mom already wrote him two notes.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll write you a note on a day he doesn’t get one and then you’ll be even.”  I suggested, and that seemed to satisfy him.

But this morning when I made his lunch, I wrote him three notes that went something like this: 

Joshua, Here is your second note from me.  I love you!  Mom

Joshua, This is your third lunch note from me.  Are you surprised?  Love, Mom

Joshua, Is four notes enough for today?  I do miss you.  Aren’t you glad it’s the end of the week? I Love You! Mom

That should keep him happy for a while!

On another note, (no pun intended – okay, it was intended!) I have this problem with Dwight stealing anything we forbid him to have.  It must have something to do with his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!  But anytime we buy something and tell him to keep out (like Halloween candy for example), he sneaks into it.  It can be very annoying.

So when I got my order of NutriSystem food yesterday, I started organizing it and told Scott, “You know he’s going to get into this. He won’t be able to resist.  He’s going to steal our diet food, especially the desserts!”

Knowing this, I decided to have a little fun.  So I grabbed my post-it notes and wrote little messages on them, then strategically placed them in our organized food boxes.  The notes include little messages just to really, really drive him mad if he tries to steal the food!

For example:

The fact that you are trying to steal my food makes me think you may be a closet democrat.  (I love this one because he gets really worked up about politics!)

Or how about these:

Stop!  This food will make you lose weight and you’re already too skinny as it is!

Holy Cowpies, Batman!  I think Dwight likes NutriSystem food!  (He hates it when I talk about poo in any form!)

You must use the force to resist the temptation!

Yes, I admit, I’m having too much fun with this.  And the best part is, it’s going to drive him so mad when he finds these notes, and he won’t even be able to talk about it because then he’ll end up revealing that he was going through our food!  I love it!

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Michelle Walker in Ohio

Dear Michelle Walker who lives at 6900 M H Road,

Aha!  I finally got your address via a recording I received today from Duke Energy.  (You might want to call them before they turn your power off).

But that isn’t why I’m posting this.  What I want to say (just incase you happen to google yourself), is this:


Ever since we’ve moved here, we keep getting phone calls for YOU.  I’ve received phone calls ranging from bill collectors to businesses requesting an interview. 

I even had a poor desperate man calling my number to ask you to cover his shift at work so that he can please see his wife, who happened to be flying into town for that night only before heading out again.  He sounded so depressed when I told him that you listed the wrong contact number.  I wanted to go cover his shift for him. 

If I was smart, I would have asked him where he worked so I could have come by to visit you and ask you this personal favor, but since I didn’t think about it until after we hung up, I’m resorting to this little stunt to try to get your attention.

I know this number may have been your old number, but seriously, must you still use it? 

I really would appreciate it if you’d stop giving out our number. 


Melissa in Ohio

P.S.  I’m going to mail you a letter with the same request, but I’m guessing the address I have isn’t the right one either…

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Out With The Old…

It’s about time!  I can’t remember exactly when I got these things, but it’s been a long time! 

I am so happy to have my new glasses!  Will someone please tell me why I feel guilty when I spend money on myself?  I’ve put this off for years because I feel guilty for spending the money on me.  I’ve had my old ones for well over three years now, and as you can see, I’ve been needing an update.

 Patrick made me feel so good today too.  First, he noticed my new glasses without me even hinting at the new look.  Then, he told me that they make me look like a different mom – younger!  (I guess my older glasses are kind of granny-ish, aren’t they?)  

Now I just need a new hair cut and color!

Speaking of out with the old, in with the new…

Old baby in adorable pink outfit:

 This was Madison at about 7 months old.  Isn’t she adorable?  And in with the new baby:

Here’s America in the same outfit (pic taken today) – at 3 1/2 months old!  I took her to the doctor last week and she’s in the 95th percentile for height, 75th for weight.  This outfit is size 9 months.  It’s just not fair how fast she’s growing!

And here’s Madison today.  Yes, she got into my old purse and found some “yipstick” and gave herself a new makeover  Do you like the look?  She was right behind me too…so quiet.  I discovered her sneaky little act after she approached me from behind and wiped her “yipstick” covered hands on my face.  Why does the mom get to be the human napkin?

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