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Archive for February, 2009

My son brought home a paper he wanted me to read from his U.S. History class.   Is he trying to tell me something???

This is an article from Housekeeping Monthly, issued 13 May 1955:  The Good Wife’s Guide

* Have dinner ready.  Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return.  This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.  Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

* Prepare yourself.  Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives.   Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.  He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

* Clear away the clutter.  Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

* Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

*Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

* Prepare the children.  Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (If they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise.  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him.  You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

* Make the evening his.  Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal:  Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

* Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

* Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night.  Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

* Arrange his pillows and offer to take off his shoes.  Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity.   Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.  You have no right to question him.

* A good wife always knows her place.

You’ve all been educated.  Now go be a good wife!

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I truly do not know how I survived yesterday.  The kids were all just especially needy, whiny, pushy, mean, honery, engergetic, arguementative…you name it!  They say laughter is the best medicine, so in order to make today a little better, I decided to go back in time and remember some moments that really made me laugh.  I hope you enjoy:

Let me just say:  Dwight-a-thon!  If you haven’t read this post…go read it!  He still thinks he’s sneaky by the way.  He got caught several times yesterday trying to sneak around…starting at about 6 a.m.!  But the shoe story?  Oh, I still laugh about that!

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Patrick…he can be so sweet, and yet so stubborn.  It never fails, if I ask him to be on time for something, he is late.  If I tell him to get something done by a certain time, he procrastinates.  He has not been ready for bed one time this week.  And he keeps trying to get out of doing chores (he’ll try anything to avoid work!)  But he is so sensitive and observant, I just love it.  He truly and sincerely loves people and his siblings.  And I’ll always remember the lesson I learned from the pickle jar.  Kind of funny, kind of not, but it definitely makes me smile and proud of my son!

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A couple weeks ago, Joshua made me cringe a little.  He told me his brother scared him so bad, that he almost said the “F word.”  But, he assured me he didn’t say it out loud.  Even if right after that he confessed, “I thought it, though!” 

Yes, I cringed, because the thought of my 7 year old saying the F word just breaks my heart.  But the more he talked about it, the more his story did not line up. 

“Joshua, what F word were you about to say?”  I asked.

He looked at me hesitantly and whispered, “Do you want me to say it out loud?” 

“Why don’t you just try to spell it?”  I asked. 

“Okay.  When Patrick scared me, I almost told him that I was F-R-E-K-D out!”

Ahhh, the F word.  I love THAT F word!

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Kelly decided to play the hair stylist again.  Wednesday night, Patrick showed me the trash can in the basement with all sorts of different colors and textures of hair.  You guessed it, Barbie and her friends took a trip to the salon!  And in order to demonstrate to the ladies what a great stylist she truly is, Kelly snipped her own hair too!  Fotunately, she only took off an inch or two in one small spot.  It blends in mostly with her short haircut, but I know now that I am going to have to watch that girl!  Oh, and if anyone is interested in her services, she accepts My Little Ponies as her clients also!

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Madison is definitely acting her age!  (Two).  I sent her to the corner at one point yesterday, and that is just torture for her.  She stood there and wailed as I stood next to her to make sure she stayed.  She turned around and looked up at me and cried out, “I seeeeeeeee yooooooou! Waaaaaaaaah!”  It was so hard not to laugh! 

She’s started a bad habit of telling Scott and me, “I’m not playing!” when she gets mad at us.  As if we are going to beg her to play with us!  Ha ha!  Really, her screams and fits can be enough to make me want to bang my head against the wall, but then she’ll say something crazy and it takes everything in me not to break down in laughter.  She has a strong will and a tender heart!

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That’s about all I have time for today.  I hope one of these stories was able to make you laugh.  That or you probably think I’m crazy about now.  But that’s okay.  I don’t mind!  In fact, here’s a couple more if you have time:

There’s The Day I Wished I Had A Penis.  Please don’t take offense…and definitely don’t judge me!  It was just one of those days!

And if you want another Dwight Story, read about the Cricked Guy!

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