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Archive for the ‘Motherhood’ Category

Determination

You know those motivational posters providing a picture and definition for motivational words such as the one in the title? 

Here’s a mental picture for you:

Lock on the pantry door.

Teenage son so obsessed with sugar that he’s taken to eating handfuls of gummy vitamins in order to get his sugar fix.

Vitamins are now locked up too.

So what does he do?  Are you ready for this?

Picture my 15 year old son leaning over the bottom freezer drawer in the kitchen…stuffing frozen cookie dough in his mouth. 

Yes, I will never be able to say he isn’t determined.

But so am I.  I took the last few cookie dough pieces out and let them thaw.  Then I poured various “ingredients in the middle and covered them up.   Garlic Salt, Hot Red Pepper Powder, Garlic Tobasco!  Yum!  Then I put them back in.  The beauty of it all is he won’t be able to talk about it without giving himself away. 

Call me cruel, but I just love finding opportunities to prank my kids!

In the meantime, we started counseling yesterday.  He seems to be obsessed with anything “forbidden.”  She asked me if I’ve tried “giving him his own sugar free candy.”  I let her know that we’ve not only done that, but I’ve given him his own bag of REAL candy.  We’re not strict parent freaks trying to control him.  He ate his gallon-sized bag of candy in 3 days then started taking his siblings’ Halloween candy.  He’s also stolen my (and Scott’s) loose change to take to school to buy sweets.  That obviously wasn’t enough sugar so he decided to eat the gummy vitamins.  And now, the cookie dough. 

His counselor suggested he may have Asperger’s.  I looked up the symptoms online and he definitely seems to fit the definition.  Can’t help but think of the guy on Boston Legal.  It’s easier to laugh when it’s on t.v.!!!

It’s gonna be a crazy ride…but I have hope.

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Life has been rough the last year.  Real rough.  I’m not even going to pretend it has been easy!  Life with Dwight has been SO HARD.   He has really been struggling and there are days I think that he’s pushed me past my limits.  Maybe that’s why I finally got him enrolled in some counseling!

I’ve heard the expression that “God will not allow you to go through more than you can handle.”  But I have to respectfully disagree.  If God didn’t allow us to go through more than we could handle, why would we need Him?  I have been going through more than I could handle without Him…but because of Him, I am making it through, and I’m growing, and I am learning about new areas I need to completely rely on and trust and seek after Him.  I am at a point in my life where I can no longer be independent.  I NEED GOD.

And even though it is hard, it is such a liberating feeling to understand this and accept it!  I need Him!  Maybe it’s because I know that He will not let me down.  At the same time, it’s so humbling. 

I have just really been going through something the last couple of days that has humbled me.  Knowing how much I need God, knowing that we are going through some hard times right now, yet at the same time, God has continued to pour His blessings on me.  I’m honestly overwhelmed.  Here I have this teenage son who has so many issues and requires so much more than even the average teen, and it is so draining.  Most days I feel like I am giving, and giving, and giving!  I told my mom that he takes up about 85% of my energy and 50% of my free time.  Probably a slight exaggeration!  But the truth is, without him, life would just feel a bit empty. 

And then I look at each of my children.  They all require something of me, but they also bring something special to this family.  They are all different, but they all test me and suck me dry nearly every single day.  But I am so blessed.  Never in a million years would I have imagined I’d be living the life I have now.  I get to be the mom of Dwight, Patrick, Joshua, Kelly, Madison, and America!  Not only that, but I never thought I could have a husband who really gets it – who still treats me like a queen and tells me the things I need to hear on a daily basis.  After 11 years, he still makes me feel special – unique, like I’m THE ONE AND ONLY. 

Yes, things are hard.  There are moments I lose it and I want to pull my hair out, but WOW.  I am just so blessed to be the one who gets to live this life, to be the mother of these awesome kids and the wife to this amazing man.

I may be giving a lot lately, but God is giving so much more.  I am so thankful!

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get ready.  This is the kind of stuff they’ll do!Door

See how the door is sticking out more on top than on bottom?  That’s because Dwight and Patrick pulled the door off its hinges.  Yup.  Dwight thought it would be funny to shut the laundry room door on Patrick while he was in there, so Patrick tried to get out. 

Best of all, they did this on Scott’s birthday!  Happy Birthday, Dad!

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You’d think by now I’d be used to it.  I mean, it happens about every other week.  (Read my post: The Death of Me and you’ll understand what I’m talking about!)  But I still get worked up when Dwight pulls his stunts.  Like yesterday.

I got a real thrill out of Dwight’s little explanation as to why he didn’t call me until after school got out to let me know I needed to pick him up.  Forget the brief moment of panic I felt when I woke up from my most needed and awesome nap and realized he never made it home from school!  He forgot to tell me the night before the cookie dough orders for his club came in and that he’d have to stay after school to pick them up.  I get that, he forgets everything, but when I asked him why he didn’t call me from school, during his lunch break to give me a heads up, he told me that I was going to have to pick him up anyway, so why bother giving me the advance notice?  Nice, huh? 

Yeah, teenagers are awesome!  Imagine how ticked I was as I turned back onto our street after rushing out of the house with two little ones to get him and finding Kelly and Joshua walking home.  The bus had already dropped them off and I barely made it home in time for them to get into the house.  He doesn’t get it, I know.  All he sees is a ticked off mama, not someone who was concerned and then stressed out about getting one kid picked up in time to be home for the rest of the kids. 

So after explaining to Dwight why I was upset with him about not bothering to call sooner, I woke up this morning to this letter:

Dear Mom,

You maybe (maybe is not a typo, he spelled it out that wayshocked to see that I have received a detention slip.  I was given the detention slip after being late for the third time.  The reason why was that I was trying to rush to my locker to get my U.S. History flashcards in order to review for my test (which took place in the class).  But the teacher said that it is only 10 minutes away from the end of class.  Sorry, I should have explained why it was important to go to my locker at the time.  Again, I apologize for you having to take up my slack.  When I recieved (spelled that way) the slip, I felt so ashamed that I felt like I was going to cry.  These reasons for being late are not excuses, they are explanations (because I need my 15 year old to point out the difference between excuses and explanations!)  It is optional to come to school early to serve detention.

Sincerely and “Responsibly,”  (Yes, he put that one in quotations himself!)

Dwight Last Name (Because I wouldn’t be sure which Dwight wrote me the letter if he didn’t include his last name!)

He totally doesn’t get it – planning ahead, being organized, making sure I’m available to pick him up, giving me advance notice – and I have to constantly remind myself that the PDD is partially to blame…and then there is the fact that he didn’t want to tell me in person because he doesn’t want to be in trouble.

It’s frustrating, but the beauty of it all is that God somehow planted this quirky thing in Dwight to be able to make me laugh, even when I’m frustrated with the kid.  I mean seriously, “Responsibly,” written in a letter about getting detention?  That is GREAT!

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Joshua came home from school Wednesday and said, “Mom?  I have lots of friends who bring their lunch to school, and their moms write them notes because they really miss them!”  He looked like he was about to tear up.  Enter mommy guilt!

“Joshua, do you want me to make your lunch for tomorrow?”  I asked. 

“Yes!”  He replied.

So I made his lunch that night and snuck in a little note letting him know how much I and the other girls miss him when he’s at school all day long.

He came home yesterday so touched.  “Mom, I got your note.”  He said. His eyes welled up with tears.  “Thanks!”

Later on though, he told me, “Mom, when you write me my 256th note, my friend will have 257, because his mom already wrote him two notes.” 

“Well, maybe I’ll write you a note on a day he doesn’t get one and then you’ll be even.”  I suggested, and that seemed to satisfy him.

But this morning when I made his lunch, I wrote him three notes that went something like this: 

Joshua, Here is your second note from me.  I love you!  Mom

Joshua, This is your third lunch note from me.  Are you surprised?  Love, Mom

Joshua, Is four notes enough for today?  I do miss you.  Aren’t you glad it’s the end of the week? I Love You! Mom

That should keep him happy for a while!

On another note, (no pun intended – okay, it was intended!) I have this problem with Dwight stealing anything we forbid him to have.  It must have something to do with his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!  But anytime we buy something and tell him to keep out (like Halloween candy for example), he sneaks into it.  It can be very annoying.

So when I got my order of NutriSystem food yesterday, I started organizing it and told Scott, “You know he’s going to get into this. He won’t be able to resist.  He’s going to steal our diet food, especially the desserts!”

Knowing this, I decided to have a little fun.  So I grabbed my post-it notes and wrote little messages on them, then strategically placed them in our organized food boxes.  The notes include little messages just to really, really drive him mad if he tries to steal the food!

For example:

The fact that you are trying to steal my food makes me think you may be a closet democrat.  (I love this one because he gets really worked up about politics!)

Or how about these:

Stop!  This food will make you lose weight and you’re already too skinny as it is!

Holy Cowpies, Batman!  I think Dwight likes NutriSystem food!  (He hates it when I talk about poo in any form!)

You must use the force to resist the temptation!

Yes, I admit, I’m having too much fun with this.  And the best part is, it’s going to drive him so mad when he finds these notes, and he won’t even be able to talk about it because then he’ll end up revealing that he was going through our food!  I love it!

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A bus company requires a tune up every 3,000 miles.  Bus number 10 travels from Louisville, KY to Dallas, TX, a distance of 243 miles.  After 62 round trips, how many tune ups has bus number 10 had?

According to Patrick, all you have to do is take the number 21, divide it by 3, and then in parenthesis, write (thousands), and voila!  You have your answer.  Oh, don’t forget to subtract the 21 by itself and write zero so that you show you actually worked out the problem! 

UGH!  and HA! 

Ugh because this kid is quickly on his way to failing math.  I don’t get it.  It’s like he suddenly doesn’t care!  I told him this morning he can’t fake his way through math.  You can’t just make up numbers and then make it look like you figured it all out.  Math requires a precise answer, and specific steps to solving the problem. 

And Ha because…well, this was just so funny, trying to read his mind as I saw the problem he was trying to solve…”hmmmmm…let me just write thousands in parenthesis…ummmm…yeah, that will work…now my favorite number is 21, and I can divide the number up by 3 and yes, 7 seems like a good answer because 21 divided by 3 is 7…”

The parenthesis thing really did get to me.  I had to stifle my laugh in front of him.  I mean, the kid is in 6th grade.  He totally knows better!  Maybe I shouldn’t have hid the laughter.  Maybe I should have laughed and then said, “That was a good one, Patrick.  But really now, how many tune ups did the bus have?” 

But when I looked at all the other problems he missed – the kind of problems he learned way back in 3rd grade?  It just wasn’t funny anymore!  What am I going to do with this kid???

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Ladies,

I have a question for those of you who are done having babies.  How did you know you were done?  Did you feel your family was complete?  Did you ever have moments where you were unsure? 

I feel I am being pulled back and forth on this one.  I do NOT feel that we are complete (yet).  But I’m not necessarily sure that that feeling necessarily means I’m supposed to have another baby.  I’m torn and confused…and last night’s dream makes me wonder even more…but I’ll blog about that one tomorrow. 

Until then…please comment and let me know your thoughts on this one.  Scott has an appointment in a couple weeks, and I guess I just want to make sure that we are doing the right thing.

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